...and I'm now wondering if it's time to tell my whole story. I want to, but I feel like there may be some repercussions. It's been so very long now but I feel like I must keep some secrets. It isn't only 'I' that was involved. And although things are kinda-sorta OK with my family now, it wasn't always this way and I fear telling my story publically may push them away. I don't want that to happen. I don't want my kids to not have their Sabba and Savta in their lives.
But I feel compelled to tell what really did happen and how I came to be the person I am and why I chose to leave the derech.
Been talking a lot about it with my husband and he's supportive and is encouraging me to tell my story. But... still... I can't help but wonder who will be mad at me for doing so. It will reveal so much.. perhaps too much?
I now have a good life. I am happy, content and FREE! And I know those things can never be taken away from me... and I feel a great desire to share what really happened and how it happened and why it happened. So, what should I do? Take the chance of p*ssing my family off and perhaps losing them (again) for good? What about the friends who have helped me and are still shomer and may suffer from my revelations? A lot to consider and think about.
Please, please tell us the story! I think it would give such chizuk to others (like me) who are wavering on the edge. I may not believe in Orthodox Judaism as we know it today (not fully sure about that yet...) but I do fully believe in doing chesed for others and this would certainly be a great chesed.
ReplyDeleteI am so very happy for you that you are doing so well! Maybe Hashem really put you in your situation to eventually come to the peace you have finally achieved! I certainly hope that anything you say will not in any way jeopardize the peace you have reached vis-a-vis your family (cause if so, I do not think the chesed for others would be worth it).
I have no clue who you are and I'm sure neither do most of you who are reading this blog.
ReplyDeleteBut if you've already disclosed your blogo identity to too many people you may want to start another blog with a new name, disguise all names, dates, and locations and tell your story!
Actually, kisarita, I have kept my identity here a secret and have been pretty vague about any identifiable information.
ReplyDeleteyou could also throw out a few red herrings to disguise your identity further, like stick in some deliberately false information
ReplyDelete(as long as it doesn't really change the story line)
I can't wait to read it!