The Past & Present

Homesickness

I honestly couldn't wait to visit my family after many, many years of being gone

I couldn't wait to taste the chullent and homemade challah my mother made for Shabbos

I couldn't wait to wake up friday morning to the smell of the delicious food..

I couldn't wait to give a big hug to my mother after all those years..

But

Everything had changed

They no longer resided in the home I grew up in

The food didn't taste the same as I recalled it

The smell was divine still but not quite as I remembered it


My mother's hug was not the same

It seemed hesitant.. yet familiar


As I spent a week there, I realized I was homesick

I was homesick for my current home

I felt a deep sadness for what was lost..  the memories not living up to current expectations

Yet a great amount of relief and serenity at the realization that I knew what I wanted deep in my heart, that I knew where I truly belonged.

I will always love my family even after all that we had been through, however, the visit reaffirmed for me where I truly belonged and how happy I really was. 

Content with where I am, safe and secure with the knowledge that new memories have made a home in my heart and in my mind.